Felonious Monks

Shao Lin: Space...it is a mystery.
Captain: If you think that's a mystery, try figuring out how to refold this map.
11.1 s RealAudio / 120 K Wave Sound

Shao Lin: Captain, if I recall, the last time we attempted a questionable maneuver near a wormhole, we got pulled into an alternate universe.
Orbitron: Also, have you seen my fuzzy slippers?
Captain: Some of us never quite made it back.
12.1 s RealAudio / 130 K Wave Sound

Apax: Your female is missing. Where is she?
Captain: She's on vacation.
Dr. Splitz: Preparing for finals.
Me: Visiting kinfolk.
Spydor: Waxing her legs.
Gor: No, Captain, she's on the ship.
9.2 s RealAudio / 99 K Wave Sound

Captain: Weapons on stun!
[Stunners are fired unsuccessfully]
Captain: Ok...scratch that idea.
8.1 s RealAudio / 88 K Wave Sound

Shao Lin: Where are my frien...the crewmates?
2 s RealAudio / 21 K Wave Sound

Orbitron: Do you mind? I'm a very delicate piece of machinery, you know!
Shao Lin: If you do not break this fall, you will be several delicate pieces of machinery.
6.2 s RealAudio / 67 K Wave Sound

Orbitron: Oh! Now you've done it. I've got a hernia.
3 s RealAudio / 33 K Wave Sound

Alien: He give us nothing but awful mush to eat. Mush yesterday, mush today, mush tomorrow...we call it "Soylent Mush."
8.3 s RealAudio / 89 K Wave Sound

Orbitron: Today, news from the front. And the rear, and off to the side of it.
3.2 s RealAudio / 34 K Wave Sound

Orbitron: I am to tell you to prepare for maneuver Tangerine-Dream-Revolution-Number-9...something.
Captain: What?
Orbitron: Or was it maneuver Mello-Yello-23-Skidoo?
8.5 s RealAudio / 91 K Wave Sound

Spydor: Should've been better off with smoke signals than this heap of junk.
Orbitron: That's Mr. Heap of Junk to you.
5.4 s RealAudio / 58 K Wave Sound

Captain: I didn't think you had it in you to get us out of there.
Shao Lin: But of course, Captain. There was never any doubt.
Orbitron: Except for that moment on the roof when you were sayi-
[Clank!]
8.9 s RealAudio / 95 K Wave Sound