Little House on the Primate

Spydor: I've flippin' had it with this floating jungle! I need to be on terra firma, and the firma, the betta.
6.3 s RealAudio / 68 K Wave Sound

Gor: What is "patience?"
Spydor: I'll tell you later.
Gor: I want to know what patience is, now!
7.1 s RealAudio / 77 K Wave Sound

Dr. Splitz: Approaching galaxies QB-6 and QB-7, Captain.
Gor: Which way should we go?
Orbitron: My money is in mutual funds, with a mild reliance on treasury bills.
9.3 s RealAudio / 100 K Wave Sound

Captain: QB-6 has more planets.
Shao Lin: Yes, but QB-7 has more sun, increasing our chances of locating an inhabitable planet.
Captain: QB-6 is closer.
Shao Lin: QB-7 is warmer.
Spydor: Hello! Can we just pick one before we're too flippin' old to flip out?
Captain: Check. So we'll go with QB-6, right?
[No answer]
Captain: Right.
17.8 s RealAudio / 191 K Wave Sound

Spydor: Ahh, peace and quiet. Undisturbed by neither man nor mook. Just the way nature intended...Ok, casino goes there, I'm thinking a hotel, maybe two, one cheap open to families, and we'll make it back in the kiosk. Water park that way...
Gor: What is a kiosk?
15.2 s RealAudio / 163 K Wave Sound

Me: You've got campers on your kiester!
Spydor: What?!
Orbitron: Tourists on your tukas!
5 s RealAudio / 54 K Wave Sound

Shao Lin: It is said that the flea can move the donkey, but the donkey cannot move the flea.
[Pause]
Captain: You're going somewhere with this, right?
6.2 s RealAudio / 67 K Wave Sound

Rhesus 2: Where is he? Where is the big gorilla?
Spydor: Big gorilla? Nobody here but us monkeys.
Rhesus 2: But that's impossible! He was here, I saw him, I, I felt him!
Spydor: Yeah? Maybe Nebula will wanna puree your brain.
Rhesus 2: No! No, not again!
15.6 s RealAudio / 167 K Wave Sound